To: Ms. Moody



From: T. Shaun Piggott



Date: 9/15/09



Re:

After recieving my peer review i read through it thouroughly. What i found was alot of the errors i made i also made in the past. The problem is that I was writing alot of run-on sentences and also alot of fragments. This has been a problem since the day i began writing so it wasnt much of a suprise to see that i had been doing it again. I also when reading my peer review realized that i had used the word pavement many times in only a couple sentences. These few things were the only constructively critical comments made about my first paragraph. To fix these errors i will go back and check where i need to replace commas with periods and where i need to add thoughts to make a complete sentence. To fix the redundant use of the word pavement i will reword the two sentences so that it reduces the use of the aforestated word.

The positive feedback that i received helped to reinforce many areas of my first paragraph that i was unsure of when i first submitted my draft. For example jourdan wrote in my peer review that my introduction "provided specific details that get the reader excited and wanting to know how the story ends". Another example of postitive reinforcement is where jourdan indicates where i used dialogue effectively which according to her is the sentence describing the "sanded boardwalk flanked by sea oats". To end my paper though i will describe in detail the preparations before going into the water as well as the journey out to the lineup. Then at the papers climax i will describe the catching and ride of the wave.